a new me

This is just too much. Everytime I liked someone I always end up pushing myself too much to make things look like fate or I end up changing my usual routine. I remembered before I'm not really a texter but when I met this guy from one of our trips I started loading everyday and texting until midnight even though it makes it hard for me to wake up the next morning. This time around I find myself hanging out on the net most of the time, which I don't usually do because computers stresses my eyes and it really gives me headaches, but still I keep my YM online just to check if someone would actually pop me a message, fortunately at times someone does but this only happens if the other one is offline. Pathetic me. While really trying to ignore this unexplainable feeling, I try to write in my blog. I try to write anything that I could think of just to divert my focus although I admit that most of my posts are still about this unexplainable feeling. I want to start a new stage, chapter, level of my life (what ever you may call it). I don't want to be the one chasing anymore, this time I want to feel that I'm the one being chased and being pursued. So tomorrow will be the start of a new me. I'm not going to be tired of starting because I know someday I fill find what I'm really looking for.